you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
