My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
