dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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