Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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