Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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