They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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