She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Randomize
