I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
