Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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