My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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