Duck Duck Cougar?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
