Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
