i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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