He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
