omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
