feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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