Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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