god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize