We named our party play list daddy issues
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
