And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
