he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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