My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think i have two assholes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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