Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize