Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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