you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
