i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
