Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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