So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
