Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
