i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
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