I think I died a long time ago.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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