I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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