Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
