I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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