me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
