Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you never un-have a 4some
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
