Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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