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vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
