how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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