I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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