I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
