What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize