you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
