ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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