took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
