Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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