did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
