i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
