me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
