If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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