yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
