i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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