New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
