come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
