erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize