Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
