the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
