9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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