Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sorry my hands just texted you
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
