I accidentally burped into my bong.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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