he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The adults are the big ones right?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
