the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
