i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
